Mr. Lonely

How much longer can I keep on pretending that magazines, my kindle or laptop and a glass of wine are perfectly suitable substitutes to fill the lonely void inside me?

They say that you can only learn to be happy with someone else only when you can learn to be happy by yourself. I achieved that quite a while back, when I loved getting to cook for myself and choose what to watch on TV when everyone else was out for the night. But when that odd occasional solo night turned into three nights a week, which soon turned into five or six times a week, the novelty of getting to watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey and enjoy a half bottle of Pinot Grigio by myself each night quickly wore off.IMG_0932

They say you can feel at your loneliest when you have lots of people around you – if only I could be so lucky. Just today I sent a message to a friend with a picture capturing my bored home alone life (a glass of prosecco, magazines, and an episode of the The O.C on my laptop), and he replied: ‘you’re always on your own! It’s like you live on your own!’ Obviously this message was meant to come across light-hearted, as this particular friend doesn’t know I already feel lonely, but this brief message caused me to burst out into tears and down the rest of my bubbling prosecco.

I could go down the cliché route and blame this on my female hormones or place it down to being a stereotypical needy girl, but the truth is I really might as well be living on my own. During the day or night it’s either A. a miracle if my mum or brother is in for the evening, or B. a miracle if my mum actually listens to me at the kitchen table when I come to enjoy her company – it normally ends with me asking aimless questions, just trying to enjoy human proximity, but those questions go unanswered or I get shooed away as her laptop or any phone calls consumes any life she has at home.

If I actually lived alone then it wouldn’t feel so disheartening cooking another meal for one or watching the clock tick by till someone comes home. I have my two cats (this story is really hitting rock bottom now isn’t it?), but they don’t always provide the greatest conversation or companionship. They may be vocal and lovely when they want another food pouch, but once they have a bowl full of food they cast me aside like yesterday’s cat litter.

Another route many will go down is asking: “but what about your friends!?” This is one question I dread answering and now filter my answer down to: “They’re on holiday… She’s working… Oh, and he doesn’t live in London… And yes mother, I have tried texting!” Rock bottom when your own mother seems to have a more thriving social life than her 22-year-old daughter.

I don’t want this to be a pity party post; I do try my hardest to stay afloat. Unfortunately the future I want isn’t in reach until I finish up my degree down in Exeter (something I am desperately trying to avoid and very much dreading heading back to the books, dissertation and late all night library sessions).

So till then I guess it’s just me, myself and I (and my two cats). But really, is it too much to ask to feel like you have a family life that’s active and loving or present? I guess in this century, where marriages result in divorce and where emails or phone calls dominate home life there’s not much hope. So for now, I’ll just prepare myself for another night in and slowly turn into a 22 year old Miss Havisham type figure – Charles Dickens meets lonely London suburbia, a hit seller in the making.P1000274


10 life lessons I have learned from Sex & The City.

  1. The obvious solution if you never find your soulmate… Image
  2. That ugly people MUST be better in bed.Image
  3. That a ginger cropped hairstyle will never get me laid. Ever.Image
  4. Refer to the above for further clarification.Image
  5. That men are easy to understand and not at all complicated…Image
  6. Or not…

ImageImage7. That Carrie Bradshaw may have a few mental health issues… ImageImageImage

8. That size matters… For ALL of us…ImageImage

9. That Carrie Bradshaw chats shit and asks way too many questions (only to make herself sound much more profound and meaningful of course).Image

10. So to conclude, what have I learned about love, sex and life from SATC? Image

The arrest of Bassem Youssef, Egypt’s Jon Stewart, is no laughing matter.

Wednesday, 17th April 2013

Dubbed the ‘Jon Stewart of Egypt’, political satirist Bassem Youssef is widely known for his late night show El Bernamej (The Programme). However, while Jon Stewart’s Daily Show may pick up criticisms from the bruised egos of US politicians, that is nothing compared to the reaction of politicians in the Middle East.

Youssef, having mocked Islam and belittled Mohammed Morsi, the country’s first democratically elected but not universally popular president, was arrested with Morsi’s sanction on 30 March.

Before becoming Egypt’s most famous talk show host, Youssef began his career in cardiothoracic surgery and spent his spare time posting political satire on YouTube. However, it was the Egyptian revolution, part of the Arab Spring, that inspired Youssef’s dramatic career change, as he explained to Time magazine: he had ‘an idea to do a show exposing the hypocrisy that was happening, so I became a comedian overnight’.

Worldwide Viewers:

Youssef’s show is hugely popular on Egyptian TV with around thirty million viewers tuning in each week. With over 1.3 million followers on Twitter, Youssef’s skits, comments and spoof’s on President Morsi and his political party, the Muslim Brotherhood, are widely viewed both in Egypt and across the world.2_fullsize

Youssef’s show not only entertains his viewers but also signifies a cultural change as the Middle East continues its volatile response to the lack of political censorship that can be found on the internet. Unlike Jon Stewart in America, where freedom of speech is sacrosanct, Youssef is a political comedian operating with restrictions on free speech, where any expression of dissent is likely to result in rough justice.


Upon hearing about his Egyptian counterpart’s arrest, Stewart tweeted: ‘When you are actually powerful, you don’t need to be petty.’ Not long after this, the US embassy in Cairo tweeted the same message, and soon enough a Twitter war ensued, with Haaretz reporting that President Morsi’s office tweeted back: ‘It’s inappropriate for a diplomatic mission to engage in such negative political propaganda.’

The US embassy soon found itself receiving numerous posts from the Muslim Brotherhood until the embassy abruptly deleted its account. Not long after, the embassy’s account was reactivated, with all previous tweets deleted. Washington Post blogger Max Fischer criticized the decision by tweeting: ‘U.S. caves to criticism.’

A political satirist perceived as a threat by President Morsi, Youssef’s arrest has merely given him more material he can use for his next show, which he kindly thanked Morsi for.

Hopefully, when the next show airs, Morsi might have a sense of humour.

Link to article on Spear’s: